Well, I really didn't want to write about the Jamie Lynn Spears news, but since I can't really escape from it at any of the websites I visit; I figure I might as well add my 2 cents to the millions of pennies out there.
Do I find it shocking that the mother-to-be is 16 years old, and that the father is 19? Not really. A very good friend of mine had a child when he was 17, I think the mother of the child was 16 at the time. Neither had the income potential that Ms. Spears does (apparently, Ms. Spears has signed a deal to allow a magazine to photograph her newborn child for $1 million). My friend did the best thing possible in that situation. The mother wasn't ready for marriage (in fact I doubt they were still seeing each other when they found out about the pregnancy) but she also didn't want to have an abortion. They did the best thing possible for their situation, they gave the baby up for adoption.
Now, I'm not going to be the one to harangue Ms. Spears for her choices. I remember what it was like to be young and stupid. While I haven't, to the best of my knowledge, helped to bring a new life into this world; I have done plenty of stupid things. I would mention some of the truly spectacularly stupid actions here, but I am unfamiliar with international law and I figure it is best to just leave that in the past.
However, one of my core beliefs is that of personal responsibility. When I do something stupid, I will not shirk from any consequences that might arise from that stupidity. And the fact is, the father of Ms. Spears' baby committed a crime. Do I think that the law is just? Not really. My parents have more than three years difference in their age, they just waited until their late 20s and early 30s before having children (a profoundly wise choice in my opinion).
So what consequences should Ms. Spears and the father face? Well, the punishment for the father is quite obvious. He should face the apparently misdemeanor charge(s) resulting from listening to the organ between his legs instead of between his ears. Maybe this situation will shed more light on the subject of child molestation laws and how they are applied to teenagers.
As for Ms. Spears? Well, unfortunately for her she is a celebrity. That means she is subjected to the fallout of making stupid decisions from the public. If that means her show is taken off air, so be it.
The thing I find the most deplorable is what this might do to the truly innocent, the child. I personally would not wish bestowing the status of "celebrity" on my worst of enemies. The child will likely grow up and discover the internet and then see all of the wonderful comments that his or her birth caused. I can't imagine what life under the microscope would be like. If the child is lucky, the media will find something else to obsess on shortly. Hopefully, Lynne Spears and Jamie Lynn Spears will allow the child some sort of anonymity until the child is old enough to at least grasp the consequences of being in the public spotlight.
One final thought. I do not follow celebrity gossip but I work in a psychologist’s office and I have to put up the new magazines. So even I am aware of all the multitudes of celebrity pregnancies. Please, for the love of all that is good, don't go out and have a baby just because it is the current fad of celebrities.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I dunno, I'm not quite in agreement about this one.
From a physiological standpoint it's far better to give birth in your late teens than it is to try after 30.
Current thinking holds that the woman should first finish college and establish a career. For a lot of women I know, getting all that done and finding the right partner doesn't happen on schedule and I know a lot of people in their 30s and 40s that are undergoing all kinds of trouble with in vitro fertilization and other assisted reproduction techniques, or who are frantically trying to find a partner after having accomplished their other goals.
For me, I didn't start until I was 30, and the short answer is: I delivered two sons, lost them both shortly afterwards, spent a lot of time and aggravation researching my genetic history (much of which had been kept secret for me "for my own good"), decided reproduction was not for me and got my tubes tied.
If a woman is 16, has plenty of money and a partner who is willing to stand by her, as Miss Spears appears to have, I have no problems whatsoever with her having a baby. I also know some women who had kids in their teens and 20's who are great mothers, some are in my family.
Somehow reproductive choice got transformed into "the only respectable middle class choice is to have it all" and most women struggle trying to nail down career and relationship success while they're still young enough to have low risk pregnancies, rather than choosing to focus on just career or just motherhood or just education. A lot of them who can't find a partner go it alone with anonymous sperm donors -- something which I definitely do NOT approve of. Keeping peoples' genetic history secret from them should be a felony.
I read a really outraged piece over this on a progressive site that called Spears white trash and had all kinds of snide things to say about her religion and her family, and any woman who dares carry a pregnancy to term before she's in the high risk category. There was also that piece someone linked in RLMMO about the woman who proclaimed she was proudly having an abortion because she was saving the planet that way. I can't agree with all of that negativity.
I waited before trying, but now that I'm old I wish I could have started at sixteen because if I had, I might have been in a better situation to successfully get through my most recent attempt at reproducing. But hey, then I wouldn't be free to hang out in WoW all day (one of the things I do like about these games is the opportunity to interact with teenagers -- I'm not too good with toddlers but I would have been a great teenager parent).
Reproductive choice means just that. It doesn't mean condemning people who make different choices. I feel the same way you do about adoption (as long as the records are not sealed) and would never terminate a pregnancy of my own, but whether others choose to terminate, or raise their babies or place them for adoption, or delay having them until later in life is none of my business.
It seems that no matter which choice we women make, others are right there to tell us we made the wrong one.
Well, if this was an actual case of someone planning for pregnancy, then I would have no problem whatsoever. However, it is quite obvious that is not the case in this instance.
I think the most crucial factor in deciding to have a child is that you be prepared for the responsibility. Of course, no one can truly be prepared for something they have never done before.
Please understand, I have no problem with Ms. Spears having a child. I do have a problem with the fact that she sold the announcement to a magazine and specifically stated that it was an unplanned pregnancy.
That same friend of mine who gave up his first child in adoption, had another child about 2 years later. While there has been issues with the child (long story short, he won custody of the child after the divorce), he has proven to be an outstanding father.
The only reason I mention stupidity in this is because they ignored the risks and found themselves in a situation they didn't plan for; a situation that could effect the fundmaking ability of the only one of the parents with an actual job. Like it or not, society frowns on teenage pregnancies. As a celebrity, Ms. Spears is at the whim of public opinion.
I think she would have gotten bad media whether she chose to have the kid, abort, adopt it out or avoid sex entirely (there was more than one snide column about Britney's highly publicized virginity early in her career).
It's probably healthier for a society to believe that sex before 18 makes people warped for life, and nice girls wait until they are married and have a diploma.
If I were still on my feminism kick I'd point out that male rock stars have engaged in much worse behavior with much less media condemnation than Spears and her whole family for that matter. And no doubt I'd draw some kind of "patriarchal conspiracy" conclusion to explain it.
At least, I would if I didn't hear as many women as men bashing Spears for her decision. At the moment I'm more inclined to think of it as something society reflexively does with regard to women in the spotlight. And actually I think Barry Bonds is sort of a parallel. Famous women and famous athletes seem to be expected to set a good example in exchange for their fame and people get a vicious sense of betrayal when they don't.
Post a Comment